regretz

yet another weekend has gone by.... nothing much has been achieved so far during my holidays and i still got less than 2 weeks before i go back to coll for the 2nd semester +_+ not exactly proud of myselF *sigh* Looking on the bright side tho, the past few days have been the highlight of my life - armed with emotions that i have not felt for a very very long time already.

(iklan kejap) i went to this H.O.P.E. gig on FRiday at Paul's Place and quoting from Hsin, it's "H.O.P.E.less laaaaaaa". Sad loh .. considering that was my first time and it set a bad impression (iklan habis)

Let me give you a picture of a situation: A friend introduce an ex to you, you become friends and somewhere along the line you're not so sure as to whether or not you guys are just friends or it goes more than that. When you start to realise that "it'' may be more than friends, you start to fight with your conscience. as situation seems to progress you panicked - worries, assumptions, paranoia, guilt. Yes? No? Yes? No? go on? is it alright? Then after a significant event one day, things went slow.... almost to a stop. this is where the assumptions began to creep in. maybe he finally realise that i look like a female version of Guy Sebastian.....i'm too fat? too short? maybe he wants to go back to his lovely ex.... maybe i was a fling? Whatever it was, you definitely wouldn't want to know the reason cuz it may be ugly..... so you kept quiet for a long time.
One day he called - where were you? At your then bf's house (and u boldly told him that)..... and you never hear from him again. IDIOT.
Weeks and months pass by.... a year to be exact.... and you guys came clean - He tells you that he thought of you as someone he wants to be with... you have everything he looks for in a girl but that one particular phone call made him gave up. Suddenly all the puzzle fits into place- it was a blardy misunderstanding (sounds cliche? damn rite).

If this was in the movies, i would have tears rolling down my cheek and felt happy because all is well in the end. But in reality, the truth hurts. BIG time. I wept instead. Familiar with the term 'it's all too late?'. He got back with his ex already ... i.e. wo de peng you. Never have i learnt this term anymore real than this. it also made me think that sometimes what you see in the movies are real (the cliche-ness and all)... they're not just stories some creative writer made up out of their imagination...it's also not as if life is adapted through the TV....it's like a symbiotic relationship - the movies and the reality......

REGRETS - i always tell myself to live a life without regrets, and i pride myself of the fact that i am(was) able to do just that.... up till yesterday anyway.... i felt one of the biggest regret in my life so far.... and I have no one else to blame but me. baka. So much for telling other people to have no regrets.

Gosh.......................................................................... help me ~_~